life

Relationship

I don’t think that marriage is the responsibility only one should carry. I think clashes start when ego intrudes in the conjugal bliss. Before marriage the world is pinkish. We dream about the life- partner and we enjoy the life according to our way. There is not much control on our activities (of course- parents and value system is always there to guide), but they are adjustable. When marriage is fixed no matter if it is arranged or love- marriage, every one decides to live ideally. Normal couple decides to love and care and cherish each other. To give each other whatever they can. To avoid fights and blah blah blah-----.

This ideality ends after the novelty of marriage feds away. Adjustment becomes the most popular word in the couple’s dictionary and ego second most. Real thing is there is no limit to adjustment and no couple are blessed with the extra- ordinary compatibility. Marriages might be decided in heaven but we are those who decide its fate. Before marriage I always wondered about the quarrels between couples around me. I always thought that those reasons were so trifle to fight over and why these people are making such big issue of it. Now as a married person I can tell that why those trifle issues were triggering factors to cause skirmishes. According to my theory, every time you adjust with the things which you hated most , some part of your soul cries for help, it gets hurt badly and these constant adjustments by only one partner makes him or her unhappy and irritated. Obviously it affects other’s lives as well. If one is dependent on other (wife is housewife) then it becomes worse. In this case decision maker is always the husband and wife is not even respected because she does not earn. Though she manages all expenses tactfully and saves money, she is always considered minor in family hierarchy. Lack of respect leads to lack of satisfaction and again gives feed-back for more depression and fights.

People use cliché that you can not clap with one hand (means no fight takes place only because of one’s fault.). I think no marriage is an ideal marriage. Every-one has to work it out. It takes efforts and patience. Sometimes it is bearable sometimes not and when it crosses the limit of patience of either partner’s patience, it breaks. I can imagine how painful it would be but it is always good to endure all the pain once and get on with life than cry and suffer every moment.

posted by mintykulkarni @ 3:25 PM